Meditation

Tim Krause

I know this topic can feel taboo, awkward and uncomfortable. My intention here is simply to share my personal experience with these practices, how they have impacted me and hopefully open the door for more dialogue with others (especially men) around their own experiences with porn, sex, intimacy and sexuality. Not to pass shame or judgement in any way. My experience with porn is similar to most men my age. I had access to it an early age through the internet, and it quickly became a regular part of my life as I navigated adolesence and into adulthood. Everything I knew about sex and intimacy I learned from porn. I believed that all sexual experiences resembled what I saw on screen, and that if it didn’t then something was wrong, or I wasn’t doing it right. Unconsciously, my mind and body began to accumulate shame around sex and intimacy. After watching porn and masturbating I would feel so much judgement towards myself, and it ingrained the belief that sex, intimacy and sexual energy are things to be hidden away. My breaking point came when I started to experience issues with premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. My nervous system had become so dysregulated that it would be completely overwhelmed during any sexual experience and my body’s response was to shut down and do whatever it took to get the experience over with, and not have to feel the intensity of the shame that came up. Finally, I decided to cut out porn and start practicing semen retention. At first, it was a big challenge, but eventually, I began to notice big shifts in my body and mind. I had SO much more energy and vitality. At first it was really uncomfortable, but I slowly built my capacity to contain and move that energy by using breathwork and meditation.